Understand & Deal with Koreans
Boyé Lafayette De Mente
PREFACE
In my book Korea’s Business & Cultural Code Words I noted that all languages are reflections of the emotional, spiritual and intellectual character of the people who created them., and that the older, more structured and more exclusive a society and its language, the more terms it has that are pregnant with cultural nuances that control the attitudes and behavior of the people.
Here are introductions to 10 Korean terms that are especially important.
1) Han (Hahn) / The Force is With Them
As the world knows, South Korea is a tiny nation on the southern half of the Korean Peninsula that has one of the larger economies in the world, with huge industrial conglomerates that sell their high-tech products worldwide.
How this remarkable story came about—how this tiny nation of Asians that not too long age was part of a Hermit Kingdom that the industrial revolution had not touched—is not well known.
There are two things that help explain the amazing success of the South Koreans. One of these is that following the end of World War II in 1945 the southern portion of the peninsula came under the control of the United States, and despite a lot of stupid mishaps made it possible for the people of South Korea to develop a market economy.
The second factor that play a fundamental role in the incredible rise of South Korea is subsumed in the word han (hahn), which Korean scholars translate as “unrequited resentments”—which has to be explained because it means so much more than that phrase suggests.
My own definition is that han refers to all of the ambitions, all of the emotions, all of the desires, all of the natural impulses, all of the spirit, all of the intellectual impulses, that were oppressed and denied by the previous governments of Korea throughout their history.
When all of these repressed feelings were released by South Koreans being freed from the oppression and restraints of the past, the energy and power and passion they were able to bring to their efforts to create a modern economy have to have been seen to be fully appreciated.
This pent-up energy and passion of South Koreans has not yet expended itself, and going there and seeing the ferocity, dedication and diligence with which the people work is an astounding experience.
North Koreans, on the other hand, are still beaten down and mired in the mud of the past by their misguided Communist overlords. They have not yet been freed from the chains of han.
2) Hanguk (Hahn-guuk) / The Korean NationThe last line in the Korean national anthem does more to explain the pride and passion that South Koreans have in their nation than anything else I can think of. It goes like this:
“Let us love, come grief, come gladness, this, our beloved land!”
But to fully appreciate the passion and pride that all Koreans have traditionally had in their land you have to be a Korean—you have to know its history; its glories, its tragedies… especially its tragedies.
Over the past two and a half millennia the Koreans have been invaded and occupied by the Chinese, the Mongols and the Japanese, and when they were not fighting outsiders they were savaged by internal regional conflicts—and yet, despite these travails, Korea culture produced some of the worlds greatest works of art, created masterpieces of poetry and made technical advances (including movable type for printing!) far earlier than any other people.
Another reason for the pride Koreans take in their nation is the beauty of the peninsula. The native religion of the Koreans, like that of the Japanese and American Indians, included the belief that they were a part of nature, and that recognizing and respecting the beauty of nature was a key part of their being.
Knowing the way Koreans feel about their Hanguk, and fully respecting their feelings, can be a major asset for foreigners visiting and living in Korea.
3) Enuri (Eh-nuu-ree) / Bargaining as a Social SkillForeign visitors who go shopping in South Korea and foreigners who engage in business with South Koreans should be aware of the traditions of bargaining in the country. Like all old societies, bargaining in Korea has traditionally been an important economic skill—and also like most people Koreans looked upon bargaining as a social skill as well.
Of course the reason for the early development and widespread use of bargaining is that until recent times there were no widely established principles for setting the cost of goods or the value of labor. It was a matter of choice and need.
In today’s Korea department stores, fine boutiques and the like have fixed prices, but in the great city markets, enuri (eh-nuu-ree) or haggling, to use a colloquial term, is still practiced by merchants and shoppers.
There is something else visitors should know about bargaining—and negotiating—in Korea. The typical Korean is a mastering at bargaining because the nature of their class and rank-based society has made it imperative that they develop verbal skills to a high level, and that they become especially clever at using emotional tactics in their bargaining.
This latter ploy is something that typically throws Western businesspeople for a loop because they have little or no experience in using emotion as a bargaining tool. Koreans typically turn the negotiation of simple points into high drama by introducing various kinds of emotional elements. When this happens, the thing to do is to remain calm and collected and stick to your guns until your Korean counterparts accept the idea that you are not going to be bamboozled into anything.
3) Anshim (Ahn-sheem) / Peace of Mind…Korean Style
It may be a bit difficult to accept the idea that Koreans have a deeply embedded need and desire for anshim (ahn-sheem) or peace of mind after you have engaged in a bargaining session or had a personal encounter with someone. [Koreans regularly engaged in loud arguments and verbal fights that can be upsetting to those who don’t know what is going on.]
But the influence of Buddhism and Confucianism had a powerful impact on the mindset of Koreans, programming them to be at ease and comfortable only in settings that are highly structured in which all of the traditional forms of etiquette are followed precisely.
And obviously this conditioning did not preclude loud verbal bouts and even physical action when they were done within the accepted guidelines.
In today’s Korea the concept and importance of anshim continues to play a leading role. Korean culture continues to support the ideal of doing nothing to disturb the peace of mind of other people, in the use of language, in their personal relations, in the ethics they follow in business, and so on.
The main thing for foreigners to keep in mind is that anshim in Korea doest not mean the same thing as peace of mind in the Western world. Some of the demands and dictates in Korea’s business world, for example, go against everything Westerners hold dear.
Knowing when and how to develop and maintain anshim in Korea is an interesting challenge that requires substantial knowledge of the culture.
4) Chae-myun (Chay-me-yuun) / Saving Face
Because of the importance of social class and rank in pre-modern Korea all Koreans became incredibly sensitive about the behavior of others and their own behavior because there were so many things that could get them into trouble, and because there were precise forms of behavior that one had to know and follow to stay right with everybody.
This cultural factor gave birth to chae-myun (chay-me-yuun) or “face-saving” as one of the most important, and demanding, aspects of Korean behavior. And in pre-modern Korea doing something that made someone else “lose face” or for yourself to lose face was not a trivial thing. It could be, and often was, disastrous.
Still today chae-myum continues to be a major factor in all relationships, particularly in work environments and in all professional categories. The way Koreans go about saving face often does not conform to Western concepts of what is necessary, right or acceptable—a situation that often causes friction between foreigners and Koreans working in the same company or organization.
In fact, some of the solutions Koreans choose are so far out from what would be a
Western approach that they result in an impasse if not a complete breakdown in the relationship.
Here again, the only choice that foreigners in business situations have is to find out what the proposed Korean solution is before it is implemented (they sometimes do it without informing the foreign side), and try to work out a compromise if they do not agree with it.
5) Changpi (Chahng-pee) / Shame
Like the Japanese, the primary sanction in maintaining and enforcing proper cultural behavior among Koreans was traditionally changpi (chahng-pee) or shame, which was generally self-imposed.
Instead of being programmed by a religion to feel guilty as a result of wrong doing, and being subject to punishment by the keepers of this religion-based method of control, Koreans were conditioned to feel intense shame, which turned out to be a more powerful control mechanism than guilt, resulting in Koreans (and Japanese) being far better behaved than their religious-oriented counterparts.
Koreans still live in a shame-controlled culture—which is weaker than what it used to be but by Western standards is still incredibly strong. When Koreans themselves misbehave in any way, the feelings of shame are powerful.
When they are shamed by someone else’s behavior toward them, the sense of shame is generally even more powerful, and invariably calls for some kind of revenge.
The role of shame in Korean culture derives from the influence of Confucianism, which teaches that personal shame should be the basis of all morality—not religious or secular laws.
In earlier times, one of the major sources of shame for male Koreans was failing to live up to the expectations of their families, their fathers, their close kin and their clan. Now it is more likely failure to live up to their personal ambitions.
Here, also, it is important for foreigners dealing with Koreans to know enough about the culture to be aware of the kind of things that result in shame—and both avoid them and learn how to deal with them if they happen inadvertently.
6) Chib (Cheeb) / The Korean FamilyThere is a lot of talk in the United States and other Western countries about the importance of family, but the Western concept of family and the role the family plays in Western societies pales in comparison to the family in Korea.
To understand and appreciate the importance and power of the family in Korea one must fully understand the Korean term chib (cheeb), which literally means “household.”
The essence and role of the chib in Korean society goes back to the teachings of Confucius, which holds that respecting and obeying parents is one of the primary principles of morality.
For millennia Korea was known as the most Confucian-oriented country in Asia and this was reflected in every facet of Korean culture, but especially in the family where the father ruled supreme and women and children could not make decisions or act on their own.
One could say that in the Western sense individuals did not exist in traditional Korean society. Children were taught and required to think and behave in terms of their chib to avoid bringing any kind of dishonor to their family, to protect the family, to ensure its continuity.
The family was in reality the building blocks of Korea’s hierarchical social and political order that was based on absolute submission of inferiors to superiors.
While the role and importance of the family in Korea has weakened significantly since the mid-20th century it is still a major factor in the lives of the people—again far more important than in most other countries.
Among other things, adult Koreans will almost always consult with their families in order to get their approval before making decisions about work and other such matters. They almost never act on their own.
Foreign companies operating in Korea must keep this factor in mind in their management policies and practices.
7) Chingu (Cheen-guu) / Cultivating Friends
Friendships are obviously important in virtually all societies, for business as well as social reasons, but few people go as far as Koreans in their compulsion to develop and keep friendships.
The reason for this extraordinary behavior is that traditionally Koreans could not depend upon anyone except people with whom they had close personal and family ties…basically for anything... often including services that local officials and bureaucrats were obliged to do for them.
The obligations that family members had to each other and to their family as a whole virtually precluded them from establishing close relationships with more than a few outsiders. Most women spent their lives without ever speaking to, much less spending time with, anyone not a member of their family or close kin.
For one long period in the recent history of Korea women in urban areas could not leave their family compound during the day to shop or pay social visits. They were allowed to leave the compounds for a few hours only at night, during which men were required to stay indoors in order to keep the two sexes segregated.
Men had a lot more freedom than women, but their outside relationship were generally limited to contacts made in bars and kisaeng (kee-sang)—Korean geisha houses. They were not free to develop a circle of friends in the casual way that is common in Western countries.
These strict political controls ended near the end of the 1800s, but it was to be several decades before both men and women in Korea felt free to exercise the kind of personal freedoms Americans and others take for granted.
However, the legacy of the past is still very much alive in present-day Korea when it comes to friends and friendships. Koreans, especially men, go out of their way to develop and maintain a circle of friends because it is invariably through friends that they are able to get things done…a point that foreigners in Korea need to be aware of.
8) Chinshim (Cheen-sheem) / The Vital Role of Sincerity
When Koreans meet outsiders (meaning non-Koreans) their cultural antenna is always up and turned on. Their antenna is set to read many things about the people they meet—and one of the most important of these things is subsumed in the word chinshim (cheen-sheem), which translates as “sincerity.”
And not surprisingly, chinshim in its Korean context means a lot more than sincerity does in its English context. The reason for this difference is that for millennia in Korea there were no laws that protected the people or guaranteed any personal rights.
None of the many things that Westerners (now at least) can take for granted in their relationships with other people existed in pre-modern Korea—except with family members and the few personal friends that Koreans were permitted to have.
One of the very first things that Koreans attempted to measure in new people they met was their degree of chinshim (sincerity), and in its Korean context chinshim refers to a wide range of things—philosophical, spiritual and ethical as well as general character—which had to be of a high order to be acceptable, much less impressive.
Like all of the traditional cultural attributes of Koreans their concern with chinshim has decreased since the mid-1900s, but it remains an important part of their character and plays a significant role in their lives.
Among other things, when companies interview potential new employees there are a number of things that are on the top of their list—their name (which tells an enormous about the history of their family), what region of the country they were born in (also historically meaningful), where they went to school, and the level of their chinshim.
9) Chiwi (Chee-wee) / Rank Has its Privileges
In strict hierarchical societies rank is of vital importance because it is one of the primary foundations of such societies—you must know or quickly learn the rank of everyone you meet and have anything to do with because rank determines your language and your behavior toward others, how they treat you, and what you can, and may, get from them.
Until well into the 20th century Korean society was one of the most hierarchical-ridden societies in the world. People belonged to specific classes and categories within classes that were structured on an inferior-superior basis with very precise and very strict rules controlling behavior.
This factor made Koreans among the most rank-conscious people on the planet…and although considerable diminished from pre-modern days rank-consciousness is still an important facet of Korean culture.
In larger Korean companies, for example, the atmosphere can be very much like that at a strict military academy, with rigid formality between the ranks of the employees and managers and very little (if any) of the joking and casual chatting that one encounters in typical American companies.
This separation by rank also generally follows that of strict military organizations when it comes to longevity in a company. Employees who joined a company last year, for example, regard themselves as outranking those who joined this year, even though they may officially be on the same level in the company.
It behooves foreign companies setting up operations in Korea to be acutely aware of the importance of rank to Koreans in their management policies and practices—and this includes social as well as educational “rank.”
10) Chok (Choak) / Clans are Alive and Well in KoreaKoreans trace their history back to just a few family clans that entered the peninsula from the north or northwest. Over the millennia these clans grew, and although they eventually populated the entire Korean peninsula, they remained intact and fiercely protective of their identities and names.
Very early in the history of Korea leadership of the chok (choak) or clans became hereditary, with the families of the leaders becoming the royal houses and therefore vitally concerned about their genealogy.
From those earliest times down to the 20th century Korea’s society remained distinguished by its clans, with only a few families controlling the country—which was often divided into different regions under the control of one clan or another.
Although these ancient clans have survived into modern times and the original families still make up most of the elite of the country, democracy, individualism and a highly industrialized economy now overshadow their influence. But they are still important in matters of marriage, employment and political success.
Foreigners dealing with Korea would be wise to make themselves aware of the clan relationships of their Korean contacts, and to diplomatically sound them out about their family histories.
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For a comprehensive analysis of the character and personality of Koreans (and of course we are talking about South Koreans) based on 213 key words, see my books Korea’s Business and Cultural Code Words, and Korean Business Etiquette, both available from Amazon.com.
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Copyright © 2010 by Boyé Lafayette De Mente. All rights reserved.
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